Then I got a call Thursday afternoon. 10:45am next Wednesday opened up and I took it. I was ecstatic and immediately called my mother to let her know. So that is the new update, Rheumatologist appointment next Wednesday (the 14th) at 10:45 am.
Lately I've been going through a period of contemplation. It's difficult to describe I suppose. When I got my diagnosis I started reading everything I could ravenously. Pouring information into my brain as fast as I could to be prepared for future doctor appointments. And then it all stopped. I had an information overload and it was making me depressed, so I stopped reading.
Occasionally (ok well really daily) I look at things online, but it's not the intense studying kind I had been doing. It's more... people's blogs, tumblr, facebook etc. I think it's helping me cope. It lets me know I'm not the other person out there with crazy symptoms. I know people (and know of people) who are chronically ill as well, but I haven't spoken to them. I don't know how to approach the subject and not offend. I still haven't spoken with my grandmother since she found out my diagnosis (from my mother) even though she has all of what I have and more. I also know of someone who I've known for a few years, but she's hurting so so so much more than I am, and is much worse off, that I don't know what to say. I've always wanted to reach out to her, be friends with her, but I just don't know how. And it isn't because she is also chronically ill, but because she seems like a beautiful and intelligent person.
I don't know... I've always been socially awkward, even since childhood I had few friends. I have difficulty holding onto friends as well, and I've never really known why. I think it's why I don't bother to try anymore. I mean, I've tried making new friends, but something goes wrong at some point. Bleh.
But! The whole point to start this topic, is because I wanted to promote a tumblr page. http://chronicillnesscat.tumblr.com is run by someone who has Fibromyalgia, DLE, SLE, POTS, Adjustment Disorder, and OCPD. They totally know how it is to have a chronic illness, the pain, the doctors, meds, etc to deal with. I've been reading through the meme posts for a couple of days now (not constantly, just when I have time!) and am loving it. It really does make me smile and helps me cope with it. I know I'm only just starting my journey and I'm not yet to the point many (with chronic illness) are, but I feel I can be prepared for that now and laugh about it.
I supposed some would think it's kinda sad, that maybe I'm constantly reminding myself of my condition, but the truth is I already am constantly reminded of it. Every time I pick up a full glass of water, or have to carry the large dinner plate I'm reminded of my muscle weakness. Every time I need to go to the bathroom or take a shower I am reminded of the pain. Every time I wake up I am reminded of the stiff and swollen joints. It is very rare I forget my illness, so I find comfort when I can laugh about it. I need it. So, if any of you are chronically ill or have a close family member or friend who is, I really suggest you check out that tumblr. Who knows, it may help you understand something you never did before.
Almost forgot! A picture for this week's post! I got a pill organizer and bin to hold my most often used things this last week. It's a perfect size for holding all those things (and now more) you saw on top of my computer last week. The meds/herbs in it are currently ones that I refill the weekly organizer with, and ones I take on an as need basis. Once I have more as-need meds I will move the weekly ones to the cabinet. The other items are my pill cutter, tums, pain cream, some lotion, my planner, and some napkins. No more knocking bottles off of the computer!
I really need a real camera. -____-
That's it for now!
xoxo -Carrowyn
xoxo -Carrowyn
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